Never Leave Me
by BittenAndStaked
Summary: S7 - Post Lies My Parents Told Me. Having had enough of the mad house that is command central Buffy drags Spike out with her into the night, taking his motorbike they settle down on a beach together and Buffy admits to her feelings for him.


**Feeling like an elastic band that was stretched so far it was sure to snap Buffy walked straight down the stairs and through the hall. She'd had it with the teenage hormone bombs that occupied every millimetre of her house, had it with the lack of personal space and had it with playing mind games and dancing around people's feelings. She needed to escape, needed to get out of this house and needed Spike to go with her. **  
  
Reaching the bottom step of the basement stairs, she lifted a black t-shirt off the top of the pile of clothes and threw it over to him. She watched it as it landed gracefully across his bare stomach where he lay on his bed. The large grey room smelt like him now, it reminded her of his crypt, the place she used to run to for comfort and here she was doing it all over again, a different place and a different time but the players were the same only the feelings had changed. They danced to a different beat now.   
  
Spike looked up from his book to her face, his brows furrowing into a questioning expression, he wasn't quite sure what she was expecting of him. She'd been sending out signals recently that had him on edge, they'd shared moments with each other that touched his soul and now she was there, seemingly waiting for him to make a move.   
  
Buffy felt like time was passing at a cruel slow pace. Not waiting any longer, she grabbed his hand and turning away, eyes closing slightly at the sensation the contact between them caused, she dragged him off the bed and towards the stairs.   
  
Slipping his t-shirt on he relinquished her hand for a second, a split second, before grasping hold of it again, not wanting to lose out on any chance to feel her warm skin against his. She didn't slow down as they reached the top of the stairs, her hand held his firmly and he was reminded of how strong she really was and how powerless he was to resist her.   
  
Breaking free from the house they let the cool night air wash over them, comforting them with its smell of dust and its promises of things to come. Slipping his duster on Spike nodded towards the bike and suddenly Buffy was nervous, a giddy feeling caused her stomach to flip at the sight of the shiny black and chrome death machine.   
  
"No way." Buffy gave it a look like it was going to bite her if she went near it.   
  
"Fastest way out of hell central love." Spikes dulcet tones rang in her ears, his voice so low it caused a thrill to run up her spine.   
  
Looking back at the house she shuddered, there was no way she was going to go back in there, not even for her car keys. Eyes moving back to the bike with trepidation then up to his face she paused for a moment to take it all in. The moon was large and fat up above, casting a blue lucid light down that shone on his skin, softening the lines of his face until he looked no older than a boy and she felt no older than a girl.   
  
He stepped forwards slightly and held his hand out to her; she stayed frozen to her little spot with her eyes locked on his.   
  
"We'll go slow, not going to hurt you love." Extending his hand out further he watched her place her slender one into his as she smiled at him, he felt like he was burning up inside.   
  
Unsure as to whether he had been talking about the bike ride or their relationship she let him lead her to the bike and secretly hoped it was the latter of the two. It had been building gradually to a crescendo that she could no longer deny and something inside her wanted it to come, wanted to be able to put into words how she felt for him and finally let him know that all his efforts had never been in vain. As she watched his thumb caress the back of her hand gently, she blushed, over both the feeling it was causing and the tender look he was giving her.   
  
He smiled at her blushing and swung his leg over the bike, he handed her up onto the back seat and she wrapped her arms around him tightly before pressing her cheek into his leather coated back. Spike took a deep breath, memories of the past few months came flooding back and one moment stuck out from the rest, she had been resolved to move on by going out on a date which had ended with rescuing Xander. The point of the story, she ran over to check him first, forsaking Xander and the principal in order to favour him with her concern and tender touches. His smile grew wider as he thought it over again, she'd been resolved to move on - only to come fluttering back into his arms, telling him he couldn't leave.   
  
Roaring the engine into life at that thought he let his smile turn into a grin, after all this time she couldn't be without him. Feeling her arms about his waist tighten further still he patted her hands and looked over his shoulder, she wasn't wearing the scared expression he had expected to see, she look thrilled.   
  
"Beach." Buffy commanded him in a shaky voice, her insides trembling without the help of the bikes vibrations.   
  
Revving the bike harder still, he swung it around and shot up the street at break neck speed. Holding on for dear life she smiled as she realised it definitely wasn't the bike he'd been talking about.   
  
The wind rushing past them tousled her hair, causing it to dance merrily like a streamer behind them. Buffy pressed her cheek harder against his back; using him to shield herself while revelling in the feeling it gave her deep inside. Letting her eyes slip shut she breathed in his scent, not so much leather tobacco and crypt these days as leather tobacco and basement - but the latter on both just served to add an earthy smell to the mix, or maybe that was the grave. Shuddering at the thought of her own grave she tried to push her thoughts elsewhere as the bike hurtled down the road that wound along the cliffs.   
  
Sitting back she looked up at his head, platinum blond locks mussed and glowing in the moonlight, she remembered how they used to feel under her fingers, she'd touched them recently when offering him comfort while his chip had tried to kill him. The memory of that day made her stomach queasy, the fear of losing Spike too fresh in her mind to gloss over, it had only been made worse recently by Giles of all people trying to have him killed.   
  
Disengaging one hand from around his waist she reached towards his neck slowly. Fear setting in as her heart beat loud like a tribal drum she tentatively ran her fingers over the nape of his neck then pushed them into the short soft hair on the back of his head. As they brushed through it, her fear was replaced by a feeling of comfort, fingertips seemingly rejoicing in being allowed to nestle there once more. Slowing the bike down and closing his eyes for a second Spike absorbed the sensation of her warm fingers dancing through his hair, reaching one hand down to his waist he growled softly as his fingers slipped into hers. Startled at first she paused before leaning against his back again and wrapping her fingers tight around his.   
  
Spike turned the engine off as he parked the bike at entrance to the beach, dimming the headlamp but not letting go of Buffy's hand he surveyed the sands laid out before him, searching for any sign of danger before letting her slip down from the bike.   
  
Still holding hands firmly they walked to the edge of the dry sand and looked out at the ocean, the bright full moon illuminated the water, causing every tiny peak and crest to shine like diamonds on black velvet. Looking up at the stars she watched them twinkle down at her, obscured and dimmed as they were by the strength of the moon she could still make them all out, she'd never realised there were so many.   
  
Sometimes she'd watched Spike when he was out on the back porch, staring up at the sky as he smoked. She'd always looked up only to see a sky washed with orange and faint pricks of light, not seeing anything special she'd wondered what he saw up there. Now she knew, with his eyesight he'd still be able to make out the stars, it would have looked more like the sky up above them now, which was a smooth dark blue canvas glittering with a billion stars. Her eyes remained fixed there as she felt Spikes hand slipping from hers as he sat down on the dry sand, sighing out onto the universe for a moment longer she felt the serenity of it all invade her as she turned her head to look at him.   
  
Spike was still staring at the sea, watching the waves breaking hard before gently lapping the shore. Feeling inside like he and Buffy were the waves, they had broken hard together in desire and were now heading slowly into tenderness.   
  
Coming out of his reverie, he looked up to see Buffy smiling warmly at him.   
  
"Room for me?" Her nerves caused her stomach to flutter as he looked about the beach before realising what she meant.   
  
Parting his knees slowly he let her settle between them like it was the most natural thing in the world, her back pressed softly against his chest and his arms encircling her. Allowing his chin to rest on her shoulder, he stared out to sea with her, watching the waves still and wondering what was going to happen next.   
  
Buffy chewed her lip slightly and let her fingers caress the smooth white skin of his arms where they were wrapped around her. She'd missed this; the quieter moments that they had shared with each other, the fleeting times she'd let him be tender. Leaning backwards, she let her cheek brush against his, her eyes closing at the warmth it sent through her.   
  
Not quite believing that he wasn't dreaming Spike took a deep breath and sighed, it was more than fluttering back to him, it was a monumental decision on her part to finally let him be close to her and he knew it hadn't come easy. Pressing his cheek to hers he closed his eyes along with her, savouring the sensation of their skin touching and wishing they could stay there forever, just the two of them alone on a beach under the moonlit heavens.   
  
Curling up against him, she let her mind wonder about how she was going to explain this to him, while her body sung at the contact between them. She listened to the sound of his breathing mixing with the rushing noise the sea made as it softly broke against the sand. Feeling relaxed enough she was about to start when he cut her off, his tone quiet and cautious.   
  
"What's this about Buffy…and don't mock me because I don't think I could take it."   
  
The pain on the edge of his voice cut through her, it had been a hard task to change how she talked to him, his soul seemed to make every little remark she made cut deep now whereas before it would have bounced off him leaving only a shallow mark. Now she had to tiptoe around her words and choose carefully so as not to hurt him, he was just as fragile on the inside now as she'd always been.   
  
"It's complicated." Her voice faltered slightly at her usual comeback.   
  
"It's always complicated Buffy." His soft tones caressed her ear as he whispered into it.   
  
She paused for a beat, unsure of how to proceed.   
  
"It's dangerous."   
  
"Sounds like my kind of thing…" Spike smiled warmly, hoping she would be able to hear it in his voice even if she couldn't see it; her eyes were still fixed on the waves.   
  
Buffy turned her head slightly and leant away from him so she could see into his eyes, shining darkly in the moonlight. Letting her fingers stroke his cheek softly she watched his head tilt as his eyes narrowed in a tender look.   
  
"It's love…" She breathed out quietly, her heart raced as he just sat there, eyes locked with hers.   
  
Waiting a moment longer she realised he needed more now, needed to know why after all this time and all the things they had done to each other, why did she love him?   
  
"It was love Spike, _is_ love. Since before I broke up with you, the months you were gone and the moment you returned to me. Love." Her voice shook under the emotions welling up in her and still he didn't say anything.   
  
Leaning forwards Spike kissed her lips tenderly before pulling her back into his arms, he'd never felt this good in his whole existence. The world was falling away around him, pressing his cheek against hers once more they sighed together, watching the waves lap the shore.   
  
"I love you. Never leave me Spike." Buffy leant forwards and kissed his arm where it held her tight against him, they both knew the final fight was coming and they would have few precious moments like this.   
  
"I love you too Buffy." He kissed her cheek softly, all too aware of what was passing in silence between them, now wasn't the time for relationships, now was the time to be heroes. Being together would have to wait until they saved the world. He held her a little tighter and closed his eyes as she snuggled up him. "I'm never leaving you love, I promise."   
  
Angels office was dark, a computer screen the only source of illumination, bathing the room in its eerie blue light that made the shadows grow long. Spike was alone, gone with the others at first to celebrate tonight's victory but slipping away after the first drink. He'd witnessed his grandsire and the newly awoken coma patient, knew there was a connection between them and it reminded him of Buffy, it was deep like the one they had shared.   
  
The muscles in his forearms protested over their recent workout, they still hadn't quite healed yet. But their ache was nothing when compared to the one in his chest; one that he knew wouldn't heal with time alone.   
  
Pale skin and hair highlighted by the monitor his face became tainted with melancholy as he thought about her. His Buffy, shining golden like an angel of the highest order as she told him she loved him, not realising it made it all the harder to leave, to crumble to dust, to save the world for her. He'd tried to brush it off, tried to live without her but becoming corporeal once more meant his heartstrings tugged and broke every time he heard her name. She was his life, the reason he lived, the reason he tried so hard, the reason he had to win. She had given him the power and the desire to go on, but now he needed more, he needed her.   
  
Hand moving the mouse slowly he clicked on the send button then leant back into the chair, hands coming to rest behind his head and his face wearing a pleased look, hiding the fear that was welling up inside him. What he had written still fresh in his mind Spike watched the email disappear; he'd never been one for long speeches.   
  
_Promised you I'd never leave you. Spike x _  
  
Ten minutes later the phone rang, the next morning she was flying back into his arms again.   
  
_End _

_[if you want to read more of my Spuffy fanfiction then click on my bio and visit my site Tales of the Slayer]_


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